We all need to stop judging

I am absolutely sick to death of hearing people judge other people.

It happens everywhere; among my friends, on Facebook (of course), the “news”, on blogs and even among a group of fellow practitioners who have been taught, like I have, to view every human being with unconditional positive regard. And it just makes me so frustrated!

Are you perfect? No, you’re not! You are human, and so are they, so kindly shut up!

Dr John Demartini puts it perfectly when he says that

Everything you see in others is a reflection of what actually exists within you, though you may be too humble or too proud to admit it

and I think that is a great explanation of judgement. You can only recognise in others the traits that you have within yourself, and that reflection – that mirror – makes you uncomfortable, so you try to deflect others from seeing it within you by putting down the person who you see it in.

The thing about Demartini that resonates most with me is that he tells it how it is, and that can be incredibly confronting. When I first heard this quote, of course I denied it. But the more it popped up in my thoughts, the more I began to realise how true it is. (Dude is wise!)

It’s one thing to say

“What other people think of me is none of my business.”

(which is one of my favourite quotes), but if you truly want to stop caring about what other people think of you, you need to stop giving power to the judgemental thoughts you have about others.

And I am not saying this to try to give you any illusion that I have never been judgemental towards others and outwardly voiced those judgements, because, of course I have! I’m just saying that you have a choice; the choice to superficially make yourself feel better by judging someone else, or to simply say, “That’s their life, their choice; it doesn’t affect me. It’s none of my business.”

This is something I do my best to be mindful of every single day.

Most of the time when we make these judgements we don’t have much information to go on. We may feel that we are simply voicing concern for that person’s wellbeing, but if that person has not asked for your advice or your opinion on their eating habits/parenting/sex life/sexual preference/clothing style/body shape/etc, then what is the point in voicing it? Especially because most of the time, it’s not even voiced to the person you are “concerned” about.

Make the choice to view everyone with unconditional positive regard. Choose to recognise what it is the person who stirs up these feelings is reflecting within you and work on them – they are sticking out to you for a reason. Remember that you are no better than anyone and that no one is better than you. Stand up for those who are being judged in your world and educate wherever you can.

We are all human, we are all doing our best with the information we are given in life, and you’d be surprised how much better you can feel about yourself and the world when you let go of judgement.

How to:: Pantry Makeover

One of my number one tips for a healthy and nourishing life is to have a wisely-stocked pantry. But I also understand that not everyone gets the nerdy satisfaction of organising their pantry that I do, so I decided to film this video about the few simple steps it takes to reorganise.

(I’m really enjoying these vlogs – they’re a lot of fun)

Don’t forget that you can check out my services, including a pantry makeover if it takes your fancy.

Trivial Pursuit (Brisbane GIVEAWAY)

If you follow me on social media, you may have seen that I’m a big fan of going to trivia with my mates. I actually really love trivia, and though my own memory recall for things like names of people, places, etc is pretty terrible, I am quite good at pop culture trivia and the occasional science question and it goes along very well with my incredibly competitive nature. The best thing is, that engaging in activities that stimulate brain activity act like exercise for your brain and by keeping it active, may reduce your risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease later in life (all while rubbing it in the faces of that annoying team that used to win all the time but now we do – take that Ramrod!! – competitive? Who, me?).

Image by Lisa Borella

Image by Lisa Borella

Continue reading

Babes.

Sometime in the last couple of months, I decided to change the subtitle of my blog from ‘Affordable. Achievable. Delicious’ to ‘Because you, my friend, are a total freaking babe’. Maybe you noticed the change? Maybe you were confused by it? I know a few people have been because I’ve been asked why it isn’t food related, so I thought it deserved a bit of explanation.

You know how sometimes something smacks you in the face and makes you realise that you've been ignoring something for way too long? This photo was that for me, on Easter weekend 2013

You know how sometimes something smacks you in the face and makes you realise that you’ve been ignoring something for way too long? This photo was that for me, on Easter weekend 2013

In the last year or so I’ve gained a lot of self-esteem and confidence in everything about myself and it feels incredible! I can happily say I am now in a position where I don’t look in the mirror and automatically criticise myself, I don’t worry about what other people will think about my outfit in ways that has me almost tearing out my hair (which I used to do almost daily) and I wear make-up for the fun of it. Even when my self-esteem was at it’s lowest, I knew that there were more important things about me than the way I looked, but for some reason, that niggly voice in the back of my head was very loud and very powerful and made me doubt myself over things that I knew weren’t that important. Getting dressed, even just to go to uni was a big task, let alone to go out and see my friends and I agonised over things like not being as quick-witted as some of my friends, or at quoting things that were relevant and hilarious at the time. Continue reading

The Little Things

Sometimes when life gets busy or tough, or other things seem more important, you can forget the value of “the little things” that make you feel good about who you are. I certainly feel like that is exactly where I’m sitting right now after two weeks of, for lack of a better term, a complete and utter clusterf*ck. And of course, it’s totally normal for life to go to shit sometimes, but when you finally move free from it, you realise all the things you’ve let go to shit with it. Continue reading