A New (More Exciting) Direction

For a long time now, it has been a goal of mine to write a book. For a lot of that time, I wanted to write a cookbook. Share my recipes with the world, in hardback, on bookshelves and empower people with a favourite concept of mine, food as medicine. I’ve collected cookbooks for about 8 years now, spending hours pouring over them, devouring the words and pictures as I would a comforting meal. They filled me up, empowered me, inspired me. And the feeling, that powerful feeling, was something I wanted to give to someone else.

While real food, cooking, nutrition and food as medicine remain a deep passion of mine, the last year of my life has seen a shift in their value, slightly, in favour of inspiring self-empowerment within myself and others.

I have also realised the power that writing has over me. It’s a natural thing: I want to write, I have to write, I LOVE to write! The more writing I do, the more I want to do. For some reason, I never believed that writing, more than a recipe here and there, could be something I would make a living out of. I guess, I never thought that what I had to say was that different to any other person in the world, and I never thought my story telling abilities were that good. Yet, I always loved to write. It excited me when we were assigned journal writing pieces in high school. I would get them written so quickly, with hardly any editing along the way, and I loved reading and re-reading them when I finished. It was as if the piece was already formed and I was somehow the vehicle to get it out onto the page. It always felt awesome.

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When I wrote these pieces, I just thought of them as inside jokes, sharing them mostly with my close friend, Trudy, laughing dorkily at the silly crap we’d both come up with. Part of me has always felt the desire to tell my story, with another part dismissing the importance/entertainment/relevance of it all.

I’ve recently realised that this part of me, that I’ve ignored for so long, is a part I want to embrace. It can be a creative outlet for me, something I’ve yearned for for a very long time.

So with this in mind, and months of soul searching, I figured out what I want to do, and I haven’t felt so inspired each day for such a long time:

I want to write a book.

I want to write a book that encompasses all of my passions; nutrition and cooking are certainly up there, but so is the empowerment of women, the realisation that wellness isn’t just about food and exercise, and the fostering of good mental health and self-esteem for everyone.

I’ve been there. Standing in the mirror hating my beautiful body; feeling shame when whatever it is I’ve had to say hits blank faces; driving myself to the point of crazy, crying, screaming madness getting dressed because of my assumed expectations of other people. But I managed to turn it around and learnt to truly love and celebrate myself without the words or approval of others and I want to share that ability with everyone else is the world.
I know that it is needed, not only for myself, but for the people I love. Here are these beautiful, kind, funny, creative, loving, ambitious, stylish, talented creatures who make my days bright, letting someone – them – beat them down, breed self doubt and make them feel like they aren’t good enough.
I just want to grab them and say, “Quit talking shit about my friend!”
But I know that’s not enough.
It is my belief that we all need to support each other, but most of all, we need to support ourselves. As much as it’s nice to hear things from our loved ones and friends, it doesn’t stick unless we truly believe it ourselves. The beliefs of “I can do this”, “I work hard”, “I am kind”, “I contribute”, “I am valuable”, are thoughts that we need in order to get past the shit that life WILL throw at us. I want to show people that they can believe these things about themselves.
In the end, we only have ourselves, and I don’t want to be left with a bitter, critical, abusive self if everything else falls apart, do you?
I haven’t got a concrete plan of exactly how my book will be structured, but I know what I want to include. It will take inspiration from other things that already exist, but it will be all me. All my work. And I’m excited to see it all come together.
I tell you all this because this focus of mine means that the focus of my blog has and will evolve. Both my blog and my book will still have recipes, wellness tips and nutrition information, but hopefully the part of me that wants to empower you will also come through. I’m no expert, but I know in my heart what it is I want to share with the world, and I’m letting that part guide me.
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